Perhaps the most difficult thing about parenting is that there's no universal rule book or guide out there to steer you through it. You just have to do your best, and many people have to do their best alone. For some, that looks like taking pointers from their own parents; for others, it looks like winging it and hoping for everything to work out.
Despite the lack of a cross-cultural parenting code that defies borders and timelines, the internet has united behind one simple message that intends to capture what 'real' parenting success looks like.
Newsweek consulted a number of people with sound life advice, from authors to coaches, to find out why.
"This man said, 'You know what success is? When your kids want to hang out with you as adults,'" the post reads. "'What good is having a large home that nobody wants to come back to for the holidays.' That's so real," it concludes.
Since it was shared on X on November 6 by @LecieGeneva, the post, which can be seen here, has been liked by over 29,000 users. To date, it's been viewed more than 884,000 times.
"This post is gaining remarkable traction, and it's no wonder—it delves into the very core of what we often overlook in our pursuit of success. The essence lies not just in the grandeur of material accomplishments but in the connections we foster with our adult children," Scott Jackson, a management expert, told Newsweek.
By society's measurements, Jackson is a successful guy, with a shining leadership role at Amazon and multiple Harvard Business School credentials to boot. While his resume may sparkle, like many, Jackson instantly resonated with the message captured in the post because he values the relationships he's built with his children above all else.
"As parents, there's an innate yearning for those genuine bonds, a desire to see our children not just as extensions of ourselves but as individuals with whom we've built lasting relationships."
"The resonating theme here is the heartfelt recognition that success is, fundamentally, measured by the willingness of our adult children to spend quality time with us," the management professional added.
The post hits home for many, according to Jackson, because the majority of parents fear their children distancing from them or slipping away as they begin to grow up.
Of course, it's perfectly healthy for a child to want to establish their own sense of identity and independence as they enter adulthood, but many parents worry they may get left behind rather than kept in the loop as their kids move forward in life.
"The post encapsulates the collective sentiment of parents who long for more—a desire for meaningful engagement beyond the transactional. It taps into a shared understanding that successful parenting is about nurturing relationships that stand the test of time," Jackson explained.
New York Times best-selling author, Stephanie O'Dea, agrees that parental success isn't defined by material wealth but by enduring bonds. She too drew on her own experience as a parent when assessing why the post has been able to tug at many heartstrings.
"I have three children and it's important when parents are parenting to have the end result in mind: happy, healthy, well-adjusted adults," the author and podcast host told Newsweek.
"You hope that the family ethics and morals are taught so that by the time the child hits adulthood you have an awful lot in common. Parents need to realize that every interaction they have with their child is creating a framework for the adult that person is to become," she added.
Neelam Tewar, the founder of Maven Magpie Consulting, holds a different perspective on why the post is continuing to grow online. The former TED speaker and business strategist who now coaches others says that the popularity of the message is directly linked to the state of post-pandemic society.
"Post-pandemic many professionals have been self-reflecting and asking, 'What does success mean to me?' as they came to grips with the future of work and how it fits in with family, personal fulfillment and professional progress," Tewar told Newsweek.
Tewar's take comes at a time when swathes of young professionals are rejecting the traditional vision of success of an owned home, a car, steady career progression and thousands in the bank.
Born between 1996 and 2012, Gen Z'ers make up around 2 billion of the world's population, boasting $7 trillion or more in purchasing influence, and are expected to make up to 27 percent of the global workforce by 2025.
A 2022 report revealed that Gen Z and their slightly older counterpart Millennials, people born between 1981 and 1996, are more likely to have a side hustle than Gen X and Boomers.
In fact, 59 percent of Gen Z'ers are likely to have a side hustle as opposed to only 22 percent of Boomers. The findings show that both younger generations are looking at work, personal life and everything that falls in between with a very different eye to their parents.
In the wake of the pandemic, thousands of Gen Z'ers hungry to add more meaning to their lives quit their jobs, literally, in what became known as The Great Resignation and subliminally, in what became known as "quiet quitting."
Quiet quitting is a relatively new term that refers to the act of mentally detaching from the outcome or result of your work. And as discussions around burnout became more frantic, a mass interest in quiet quitting, the gig economy, being your own boss, and freelancing rose.
The motivation behind all of these pathways is not just to make a living doing something that you like more, but to have easier access to a healthier work-life balance. After all, if you're your own boss or are freelancing, if you brush your responsibilities aside, you can take leave whenever you want and don't need to answer to anyone.
As for quiet quitting, a survey of 2,000 eligible voters in the U.S. conducted in January for Newsweek by Redfield & Wilton Strategies found that more than a third of workers (36 percent) are quiet quitting (when defined as "doing the absolute bare minimum"). The same portion is looking to change jobs.
Tewar told Newsweek: "Gen Z is drawn to meaningful work and millennials value work-life balance as they consider stepping into parenthood, questioning your choices, both professional and personal come into focus."
"As a result, many identified with this post knowing a majority of our waking hours are spent at work and if our work doesn't add value or requires sacrificing family time is it really worth it? This is one of the reasons why we saw a rise in quiet quitting and all the other new career trends," she added.
Have you had a workplace dilemma? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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